I Spank My Child and So Should You

There has been a voice among the parenting community promoting the ideas of ‘peaceful-parenting’. This is non-sense and should be treated as such! These hippies need to learn that we live in a war infested world and thus need to prepare our children for violence through violent conditioning. All these parents are doing are teaching their children to be weak. The truth is that fights are not finished by reason they are finished with fists. Not only do we need to condition our children to fight they must also be taught to be obedient to their superiors. It is permissible for them to fight among themselves, since that is inevitable, but our children should ALWAYS follow authority. This is the problem with society today! Children are never taught to obey and thus they are getting shot in the streets. If you want to solve this problem you should spank your children into unconditional obedience.
If you are into researching parenting styles, I suggest that you stop. The “evidence” is all non-sense. For example, there was a recent study done on stay-at-home moms that spank their children. The study asked moms to wear a recording device. They found, “spanking was far more common than parents admit, that children were hit for trivial misdeeds and that children then misbehaved within 10 minutes of being punished”. Many parents have read this study and are contemplating changing their response to their children’s destructive behaviors. This is an insane decision for several different reasons.
First, parents should hit their children often, because children are stupid and need to be reminded who is in authority. There is a new wave of hippies saying that parents should be teaching their children morality instead of obedience. What do they want? Anarchy?! Children are not moral and we shouldn’t expect them to be. They are evil beings and should be punished into submission. When they submit then they will learn morality. This way they will be good citizens providing for the greater good of everyone else. Parents who teach their children to think differently or for themselves are a hindrance in society.
Next it does not matter how ‘trivial’ the misdeed. A child should obey all orders. All acts of disobedience should be dealt with harshly. This is best seen in society where a person who is carrying a deadly drug like Marijuana is put in prison for years. If they allowed this non-sense our country would turn to chaos! The same applies in our homes. If a child is allowed to resist orders then they will soon turn criminal. We as parents have a responsibility to make sure that our children do not question authority. My favorite phrase at my home is, “because I said so”. If they back talk to that then they are spanked immediately! How could anyone possibly think that a child should be allowed to think for themselves? Or that we should not try to reason with them. Police do not reason with citizens neither should parents with children. This is the way of life. To question it is to be insane.
Finally, the reason that children in this study were found to be disobedient within 10 minutes of spanking their children was because they are not spanking frequently. The study showed that most parents only think they spank their 7-36 months old up to 18 times a year. After being recorded they were actually spanking them 18 times a week, 936 times a year. If your child is still not listening after that, then you are not hitting them hard enough. If they back talk you smack them in their face. Some of these doctors would “advise against it”, because their “brains are developing”. Well clearly they are not developing correctly or they wouldn’t be back talking authority! Parents need to be making sure that the children are experiencing a massive amount of pain during the spankings or like this study shows, they will just do it again.
Other studies have shown that children that are spanked are more fearful and aggressive. These are not negative behaviors. Children will not obey unless they are fearful and other children will not obey them if they are not aggressive. The bible says, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children”. Some children, as seen by the study, will still not listen in which case we should refer to the next verse from the bible, “‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death”. We cannot have people in our culture that are rebellious or free thinkers. It is dangerous! We need to purge the evil from our children and make them obedient by spanking no matter what the research shows.
This is a satirical piece by Michael Esch who is a strong advocate for peaceful parenting. If you are interested in learning more about peaceful parenting then you should click here.
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Collin Sleuth August 18, 2014 , 2:48 am Vote0
Brutal satire!
Michael Esch August 18, 2014 , 2:58 am Vote0
Thanks for the read. Normally I don’t write stuff like this, but after witnessing some abusive parenting this week I got a little dark.
Justus Ranvier August 18, 2014 , 3:28 am
I wasn’t sure if it was satire or not until the end of the article.
I’m almost positive there are still pulpits in this country where you’d be cheered for delivering that speech.
Malcolm Heights August 18, 2014 , 6:03 am Vote0
The bible says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. Actually that quote is from Benjamin Franklin and was first published in little Richard’s almanac.
Michael Esch August 18, 2014 , 10:56 am Vote0
I corrected the quote in the article, thanks for pointing that out.
Michael Esch August 18, 2014 , 10:59 am Vote0
I know there are some of my friends and family that would have thought I was being serious, so I had to make sure that I posted that at the bottom.
Skyler J. Collins August 18, 2014 , 7:11 pm Vote0
Actually, the quote is from a poem mocking the sentiment by Samuel Butler: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/spare_the_rod_and_spoil_the_child
Michael Esch August 19, 2014 , 12:28 am Vote0
That was interesting…I didnt know that is where it came from. Thanks for the share!
Carlos Morales August 19, 2014 , 3:13 am Vote0
Well played, good sir.
Connor Johnston August 19, 2014 , 3:22 am Vote0
satire…i can breathe
Gabriel Scheare August 19, 2014 , 3:53 am Vote0
Excellent. The title drew us all in under false pretenses but we forgive you because it was worth it in the end. The rest of us lowly scribes can take notes 😉
Marius Ursu August 19, 2014 , 11:09 am Vote0
So the world has an ilness (e.g. Aids), so lets infect children when they are young. And then lets wonder why the world is sick.
Even people who havent studied philosophy can see this is nonsense. Unless they have emotional defenses.
Michael Esch August 19, 2014 , 11:31 am Vote0
I figured that everyone at Liberty.me would flip and read it or just comment yelling at me. I love this community! The response as been awesome.
Michael Esch August 19, 2014 , 11:34 am Vote0
I wrote this and had two people review it. They both said that they fear that people would believe that I was serious. I couldn’t believe that but I added the footnote anyway.
Michael Esch August 19, 2014 , 11:35 am Vote0
I appreciate the complement. I was hoping that it would stand out to a community of Libertarians.
Michael Esch August 19, 2014 , 11:42 am Vote0
Which I think is the problem with spanking, it is an emotional response. There is the other part about being violent to a child part that I don’t like either. It amazes me how people pretend that they are making a wise decision to spank their children when in reality all it does it make things worse.
Grant Brown August 19, 2014 , 5:44 pm Vote0
It’s a paraphrase of a Bible verse. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+13%3A24
Kenneth Andrews August 19, 2014 , 8:41 pm Vote0
heh I clicked this just to rant. Turns it was a bait and switch.. Well played.
Michael Esch August 20, 2014 , 12:02 am Vote0
Sorry about that 😉
Pseudo Nym August 20, 2014 , 8:47 am Vote0
This article is a perfect working example of Poe’s Law.
Foo Quuxman August 20, 2014 , 1:32 pm Vote0
Poe’s Law in action.
The only reason I thought that it had to be satire was that it is out of context for this site. If it had been somewhere else it would have been indistinguishable……..
Sammel August 20, 2014 , 8:25 pm Vote0
. . . and anarchists, don’t forget us 😉
Kathy Grable August 20, 2014 , 9:48 pm Vote0
I am so fortunate to be among people who know how everyone should parent and are so confident in their superiority in this regard. Unfortunately, most of us will be dead before we see the results of your enlightened philosophies, your perfect, non-violent offspring. Been there, done that. I’m younger than that now, through listening to erstwhile experts. Parenting is sacred. Demonize parents who don’t do as you do and get ready for the regulations dictating HOW parenting is to be done. Remember YOU helped bring it about.
Michael Esch August 23, 2014 , 2:18 pm Vote0
Are libertarians not allowed to advocate for any humanitarian cause out of fear that the government will get in the way? I think that we can solve things, like bad parenting, through reasonable discussion without the use of force.
Stephen Wildermuth August 23, 2014 , 6:26 pm
When I read your headline, I wondered “Does he think I should spank my kids, or does he want me to spank his kids?” That used to be a thing, remember?
I’m reminded of a joke: parents find their child’s stash of S&M magazines under his bed. “What should we do?” the mother asks. “Well, I don’t think we should spank him!”
Michael Esch August 24, 2014 , 12:32 pm Vote0
I am an anarchist, but I throw everyone under little “l” libertarian.
Justin Fowler August 28, 2014 , 4:58 am Vote0
Some people’s satire detectors are off. I know public school ain’t a great example, especially a class full of cheating jocks and cheerleaders *guffaw* but there were some smarter folk in there too, and I swear I was the only one who realized that A Modest Proposal was satire a few paragraphs in.
Mike Reid September 9, 2014 , 5:47 pm Vote0
Killer title. Love this.
Liberty can be funny. (Or maybe, aggression is funny. Liberty can tell the jokes.)
Dave Scotese September 11, 2014 , 6:59 pm Vote0
I read “M&Ms and Magazines” the first time. Then I didn’t get it, so I re-read it with my glasses on.
Marc Anthony Rios September 14, 2014 , 9:46 pm Vote0
Until I realized this was satire I was about to send you some hate mail. It was almost George Carlin level commentary.
Michael Esch September 14, 2014 , 9:57 pm Vote0
I am not going to lie, I was hoping that one person would comment on here and rip me a new one, but I guess everyone on here reads the articles all the way through.
Alexander Butler September 16, 2014 , 12:51 am Vote0
It took me a minute to realize that this is satire. I was like “WTF??”
Michael Esch September 16, 2014 , 1:24 am Vote0
I know that is why I had to write at the bottom that it was satire…too many people took it seriously.
Jesse Lohse May 22, 2015 , 3:18 pm Vote0
I’m glad I made it to the end or else I was going to have to rip you a new one haha!
Paul Kennedy June 9, 2015 , 11:34 pm Vote0
Hi Micheal, nice piece. I figured it had to be satire, it reminded me of when the Chinese government reprinted the Onion.com piece about about Kim Jong Un being their sexiest man alive.
BTW, the link at the bottom of the page about peaceful parenting is to this website:
http://thelibertasproject.org/parenting_liberty_style/
(which seems to no longer exist?)